5 Reasons Why Whole30 While Breastfeeding is the Literal Worst

Breastfeeding is hard enough, so maybe let’s leave the fad diets for a different time, shall we? Never sounds like the best time to me, but you do you.

 

So there was this time my husband and I (okay, it was mostly me) decided doing Whole30 would be a great idea. I wanted to clean up our eating habits and liked that there was so much structure. I convinced my husband (somehow) and began researching everywhere I could. I was in Facebook groups, browsing Instagram, searching for recipes on Pinterest (Serious, adult research.  Obviously.). We picked a day, cleared all the no-no food from our home, stocked up on grass-fed beef, and got started. It was great!

For 5 ½ days.

Then I demanded a freaking cheeseburger.

This particular cheeseburger, in fact.

Fuddruckers Buger - Not whole30 approved but so yummy!

((In case anyone doesn’t know what Whole30 is, it’s a reset diet designed to help you kick sugar addiction and figure out any food sensitivities your body may have. You’re not allowed to have dairy, legumes, alcohol, sweets (even the healthy fake kind), grains, or soy. You know, everything good in life, basically.))

 

I should also add that in this same time frame I was tandem nursing a 2.5 year old and 6 month old, as well as working overnights with triplets. It was, quite possibly, the worst time possible for attempting this.

Without further ado, I give you the top 5 reasons doing Whole30 while breastfeeding is the absolute worst:

1) It’s expensive. Like, really expensive.

So, I don’t know about you, but I eat a LOT when I’m breastfeeding (especially when it’s two tiny humans and I’m also pumping at night). You don’t realize how much of that comes from grains and dairy until you can’t have them. Suddenly, I need a lot more meat to get through the day. And it’s not cheap! I don’t have a huge grocery budget in general but it doubled when we tried to do this. DOUBLED. No thanks.

 

2) Three words: No ice cream.

 

Did you know that ice cream is both dairy and a sweet? It’s super a no-go on Whole30. It’s also MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD. Worth it? Not in my book.

All you really need to know: Whole30 hates ice cream.

3) If you don’t like sweet potatoes and avocado (like, um, me…I know, I know. I just got kicked out of all the clubs.), you’ll probably just die. And eat a lot of eggs. So. Many. Eggs.

 

Seriously, you will probably never touch another egg in your life. Or sweet potato. You probably will still eat avocados, though, because once you’re done whole30-ing guacamole is still a thing and chips are no longer forbidden. Ole!

Chips & Guac

4) No alcohol.

 

This doesn’t even warrant explanation.

 

5) You have a tiny, cute parasite literally sucking the life force from your body. You deserve to eat anything you please. You also deserve a cookie. A BIG cookie.

 

Whole30 doesn’t allow cookies and, quite frankly, neither you nor I need that kind of negativity in our lives.

 

So there you have it, friends. All the reasons Whole30 and breastfeeding don’t mix. I will say, if you are a person that can do both, you are my hero. Please accept my gift of this virtual trophy and all of my respect.

Carry on, breastfeeding people of the world. However you choose to eat.

Authored by Tiffany DePute



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